so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize