I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
