its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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