you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
