Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
