that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
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Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
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It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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