Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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