I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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