NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
