I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
