how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
