I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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