Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
