i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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