how can u be prego again
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes