Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
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i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.