No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.