they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
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I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If its not for food we ain't going out.