Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
