Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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