96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
