Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
