I smell stomach acid.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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