just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
