You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
