I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
