Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
