i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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