It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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