All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
