Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
