So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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