my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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