went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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