yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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