jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize