I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
