I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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