Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
