it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
