Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize
