Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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