I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
