Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Your penis caused this!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
