We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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