Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm bleeding and have questions
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