conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
