Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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