On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
