dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
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