Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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