Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
