Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
