Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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