I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
