Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
